this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize