I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize