Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
