your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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