I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
