Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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