2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
