I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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