Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
