If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize