I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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