O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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