I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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