her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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