We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
