Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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