When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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