I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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