my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize