i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
