you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
