Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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