i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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whose ass print is on the piano?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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