WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
