Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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