I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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