I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
