I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
