dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
