after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
