i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
