5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Four minutes until I can fart!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
