I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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