For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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