Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
