hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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