so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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