The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
