oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?