Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub