I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She's the barista slut.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.