you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
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Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
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Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.