So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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