I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
