Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The uberlube is also flammable
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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