I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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