Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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