Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
