Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
