You can't motorboat a personality
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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