I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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