we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
