absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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