Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
