somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
