Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
