i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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