That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
