I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
