I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
