my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
