i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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